VERSA | Sex, romance, quality chat – you can’t beat Oxford Grindr

Of course, I get mildly miffed at his blanket assertion that gay people are forever in search of their next hit of dick. Who knows — I could actually be reading an email or browsing Twitter. Though, admittedly, sometimes he’s right, as the app’s yellow interface is very clearly reflecting in my glasses.

Who said romance on #Grindr was dead! @AwkwardGrindr pic.twitter.com/41kpQxTlhM

— Andrew (@Newt32) May 1, 2015

But who cares? I don’t think many men on Grindr are champing at the bit for their next shag. I think they’re looking for something deeper. Not least in Oxford, when you have a good chance of holding a decent conversation with someone. It’s certainly better than Grindr in the provinces, when the nearest young-ish guy is five miles away, and the old grizzlies are looking to play out their fantasies with someone half their age (and no doubt someone will probably end up taking them up on that offer). I would even say it’s nicer than London Grindr which has a very different energy to it, and often is about going for a quickie in someone’s flat or hotel room before hastily putting your clothes back on.

@Grindr_FAIL this made me feel so special! pic.twitter.com/aY85KwQJQ2

— Dickie Neil (@MrDickieNeil) January 2, 2014

No, Oxford Grindr is the gentleman among the fuckboys. I can only put it down to men displaying both of my favourite attributes – attractiveness obviously, but also being well-read. So what have I personally talked about on Grindr? I’ve talked about books that we’ve read, music listened to, recommendations are exchanged and appreciated, and quite often the Classics. Indeed, my own experiences is that these were far more enjoyable moments than the acts and encounters by which Grindr is defined. I remember one instance while I was getting sucked off when I realised that I should have asked him more about the books on his shelf. To me, the sex which is supposed to be the raison d’être of Grindr is often the anti-climax to a rather enjoyable beginning, almost the sign of a missed opportunity. The chats and the drinks before getting down to business are by far the most fun. I’ve had guys come over who just wanted to chat, and that’s been nice.

pic.twitter.com/HsTn7akdDz

— Reader, I dommed him (@nofakesnofemmes) November 22, 2014

A lot of people – gay and straight – used to have it in for Grindr. They cited it as a symptom of a disconnected society that focused primarily on looks and outward appearance, as if no-one ever did this before dating or sex apps were invented. Grindr is, as many people now say, the new gay bar, only it’s easier to find and you don’t have to pay to get in. And when Oxford gay life still generally swings between LGBT drinks and Plush (even despite increased efforts from the LGBTQ society), I don’t count either as the best places to just have a nice chat, not least when both venues have been slammed in separate instances for feeling unwelcoming, and a third way is always appreciated.

So, if you fancy a half-decent conversation over a quiet pint or a glass of wine, hit me up.

Tags: chirpse — gay — grindr — lesbian — lgbt — Oxford — sex