VERSA | NUS VP suspended for screaming Orwell quotes at Pensioner

Eyewitnesses say the incident occurred at a “Universities: Then and Now” discussion, when one of the pensioners attending allegedly mentioned that back in their day they “hadn’t had any of this anti-semitism nonsense” and “had felt that Israel had the right to exist”. The veins in Mr Blair-Huxley’s face reportedly quivered and he frothed at the mouth. When the same older person a little later said that he quite liked free speech and felt that undemocratic student unions were placing restrictions on it, the NUS VP sprang at him.

Mr Blair-Huxley punched the old man out of his wheelchair and began to throttle him, while screaming “IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH” “WAR IS PEACE” “FREEDOM IS SLAVERY”. Other student attendees pulled Mr Blair-Huxley from the pensioner and restrained him until the police arrived.

To defend himself, he said that he hadn’t actually intended to attack the man, and he had screamed slogans he didn’t actually agree with. The man later declined to press charges.

Talking to VERSA, Mr Blair-Huxley, now a gin-addled wreck following his suspension, began to cry and simply repeated the phrases “I love Big Brother” and “Four legs good. Two legs bad”, manically.

This incident takes place within our fast approaching dystopian future, while in the present day, an NUS delegate accidentally found himself quoting Orwell at a free speech conference, when he said that some people had “more equal right to free speech than others”. God help us all.