VERSA Kicking up a fuzz – police called over ‘No Offence’

UPDATE: Police have informed Jacob Williams that he will face no further action for distributing copies of No Offence. It remains to be seen if confiscated copies will be returned to Open Oxford’s overlord.

There are many things that we at VERSA consider criminal about Freshers’ Fair: the flagrant disregard for the ‘don’t hand out food’ policy by Domino’s; the gauntlet of death created by the sports teams; and the placing of VERSA lives in danger by positing our stall near everyone who hates us. But No Offence topped it all, by actually earning a visit from the boys in blue.

‘Contains nuts’

Sources have confirmed that Oxford wannabe BNOC Jacob Williams had his brain-child ‘No Offence’ investigated by police due to concerns about public decency. References to a ‘rape swagger’, and some outright terrible writing were not considered grounds for further action, but a certain rather graphic piece of erotic fiction by Finn Lees, oddly starring himself, another man, and a McDonald’s meal, was considered too indecent for distribution.

Unlike OUSU, who banned the publication from Freshers’ Fair last week, the police decided not to take further action (having read the piece in question, I can’t understand why). Williams was cautioned not to distribute the magazine further. This in itself might be considered punishment nonetheless – being stuck with that many copies of such a rancid tale must be a fate worse than jail.

It is not known who informed the po-po, but VERSA hopes they are aware of Oxford students’ well known policy of omertà. Watch out.

VERSA is famously pro-free speech, but even we questioned our beliefs after reading about ‘sauce pots’ in Finn Lees’ golden arch-themed erotica.