History student baffled by lecturers strike: ‘We had lectures?’ VERSA

Humanities students across the university have been left scratching their heads this week over the developing story of the UCU lecturers strike. Most students, it transpires, were unaware that the university even offered lectures in their course, let alone that those conducting the seminars received payment and benefits for the service.

VERSA interviewed one undergraduate, Ned Ligent, who appeared optimistic about the situation, commenting “It’s not like I could get out of bed before 12 anyways but now when I sleep in I’m a socialist martyr”. His friend, Les Surely, chimed in that the strike had surprisingly saved him a fortune on doctor’s bills: “all those sick notes from the private GP were beginning to rack up”.

Exam Schools, three days prior to the strike

Still, not everyone was best pleased and students took to the streets surrounding Radcliffe Square to protest in support of their striking lecturers. One ‘activist’, Iona Trustfund, expressed her ‘profound sympathy’ for the ‘abuse and inhumane conditions’ endured by lecturers unable to retire to the South of France at age 55.

The general picture, however, has been one of apathy and bewilderment. The government has yet to officially comment, save for Jeremy Hunt calling us all a bunch of snow-flake tossers. The strike is expected to continue until March, at which point normal lecture services will resume and that spotty neek from your course will continue to email round the almost hieroglyphic etchings he calls notes.