Articles by: Versa News

Man Who Eats Huel Every Meal Shits Himself for a Third Day Running

Man Who Eats Huel Every Meal Shits Himself for a Third Day Running

11th February 2018

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Fake News:

A man who has replaced all his meals with Huel, the nutritional powdered food that contains all the proteins, carbohydrates, and fats that make up… Read More ›

Scientists Discover Welfare Tea Reduces Risk of Depression by 200%

Scientists Discover Welfare Tea Reduces Risk of Depression by 200%

9th February 2018

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Fake News:

Scientists at the Tetley Faculty for Psychological Research have, for the first time, found a conclusive correlation between the consumption of Earl Grey Tea and… Read More ›

CV is God

6th February 2018

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It’s Hilary term and alongside occasional snow and the return of Ahmed’s, all the E&M kids have managed to bag themselves a ten week corporate… Read More ›

OxFrenzy: Panic on our Streets

OxFrenzy: Panic on our Streets

13th November 2017

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Fake News:

Students across the university were confronted with a shocking scene this morning. Upon their customary morning browse, many Facebook users were aghast to find that… Read More ›

Medical student claims boyfriend is ‘very useful’ for practising surgery

Medical student claims boyfriend is ‘very useful’ for practising surgery

29th October 2017

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Fake News:

A young medical student at Christ Church has been praised for her astonishing commitment to her medical degree. Judged an ‘extraordinary, able young lady’ and… Read More ›

Interviews moved on to sports grounds to ensure ‘level playing field’, university announces

Interviews moved on to sports grounds to ensure ‘level playing field’, university announces

29th October 2017

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Fake News:

Oxford University has announced new measures to ensure equality of access, following accusations of ‘social apartheid’ in its admissions policy by David Lammy MP.  … Read More ›

The Absurdity of an Oxford Humanities Degree

The Absurdity of an Oxford Humanities Degree

23rd October 2017

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I am a second year philosophy and theology undergraduate. Consider the following scenario, through which I have been countless times since entering this university, and… Read More ›

Bridge VIP Now Part of SW10, Sadiq Khan declares

Bridge VIP Now Part of SW10, Sadiq Khan declares

21st October 2017

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Fake News:

London Mayor, Sadiq Khan, announced today that Bridge VIP, or Varyingly Important Public-school-kids, will become part of SW10 in new reforms to the city’s post code… Read More ›

BREAKING NEWS: Cherwell Retracts Entire Newspaper

BREAKING NEWS: Cherwell Retracts Entire Newspaper

21st October 2017

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Fake News:

In a shock decision, Cherwell has decided to retract every single article it has ever written. The ‘independent’ ‘news organisation’ has since deleted its website,… Read More ›

Oxford ‘Night-Climber’ Caught Wanking Outside College Wife’s Room

Oxford ‘Night-Climber’ Caught Wanking Outside College Wife’s Room

19th October 2017

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Fake News:

The notorious student known only as the ‘Oxford Night-Climber’ has been found passed out this morning, with a college tie roped tightly around his neck, and… Read More ›