Holy shit, it happened. Our trans-atlantic cousins actually chose to elect a man who, in his best moments:

called Mexicans rapists, claimed the President was born in Kenya, proposed banning an entire religion from entering the United States, mocked a disabled reporter, bragged about sexual assault, was accused by numerous women of committing sexual assault, said those women were’t attractive enough for him to sexually assault, said more countries should get nuclear weapons, said a judge was biased because his parents were Mexican, called global warming a hoax, said women should be punished for having abortions, declared bankruptcy six times, bragged about not paying income tax, lost a billion dollars in a year and bragged about GRABBING WOMEN BY THE PUSSY.

As you can imagine, the student internet sphere reacted very calmly. Jokes. So settle in with a cuppa, think about the fact we are busy arguing over which side of London to put a new strip of tarmac on and let us guide you through the turmoil…

The earliest reactions were the strongest, ranging from the amusingly apt Peep Show:

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To the ostentasionaly Churchillian rhetoric:

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Then there was complete despair/seeking solace in more sensible animals:

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Whilst some students have formally entered a state of mourning, renouncing their identity and condemning vanity and self-indulgence in the face of disaster. Well, either that or he wanted to smash the likes…

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Then, being Oxford students, a good number decided that 50 million voters were wrong/confused/ill-informed/intellectually inferior (because, duh, we know best and what is democracy for if it doesn’t go your way?):

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Rather sneakily the social justice warrior, Rhodes Must Fall demagogues managed to make it an issue of race, no surprises there. VERSA have decided you can’t get anything past them and we’re fascinated to see what they make of the result of the Test match:

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Probably according to the left wing masses, those who were only selfishly concerned with lining their own pockets were as culpable for the end of Western civilisation as Trump himself. Although, at VERSA we really wished we’d had a fiver on that treble…

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Meanwhile, you know something is relatively earth-shatteringly unavoidable when even the arty thespy set get involved. Who knew you could make this balls-up quite so edgy?

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And then, there was even some light relief, in the form of children’s literature references and an appeal to The Beatles (hunkering down with some Rowling and Lennon will probably solve everything…):

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Although perhaps most scarily of all, even tutors were getting involved:

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Thankfully, buried deep beneath all of this excitement was a sensible suggestion made to John’s JCR:

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Followed swiftly by:

 

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So there you have it…

And you thought Brexit was bad…

(N.B. Mr President-Elect has not been contacted for a comment.)

 

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