Momentum, the activist group behind Jeremy Corbyn’s successful bid in the recent Labour leadership contests, once again declared war at the Labour Party Conference in Liverpool.

The hard-left faction took aim at another prominent influential group within the British Establishment, following existing allegations of anti-Semitism.

“The alumni of Oxford and Cambridge universities are a source of poison within the Labour Movement. They have no place in it,” one activist shouted. “These infiltrators control everything – most of the House of Commons and the House of Lords, the Civil Service, the banks, newspapers, film and television, across the whole world.


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Is James Schneider actually part of some international Oxford conspiracy?

“Their extraordinary power formed by cosy closed networks has been used to force their own agendas. For too long, these leeches have manipulated people that would otherwise support our completely rational far-left-wing proposals.

“We’re not prejudiced against those who went to Oxford,” another declared, “because both our own leaders did.”

Did they mean Jeremy Corbyn or John McDonnell?

“No, not Dear Leaders Corbyn and McDonnell. I mean Seumas Milne; he went to Balliol. As did the head of Momentum, James Schneider, he was at Trinity. Not that we’re being used to whip up the disaffected masses for the political gain of a few members of the elite, like Blairites. We’ll be fighting the moral and political corruption at the top instead, for which we will be thanked tirelessly.”

Thanked by whom?

“Er, not quite sure, to be honest.”

Let us remember that the centuries-old Jewish conspiracy theory has long acted as an effective diversion tactic from other people’s comfortable backgrounds. 

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