Last Sunday, OUCA’s drinks event was graced by their honorary president, Jacob Rees-Mogg MP, who made a surprise visit and caused half of the Tory-voting students to keel over with shock.

It was described afterwards by one member as “the soundest thing that’s ever happened”. It produced shrieks of delight from a certain Open Oxford contributor, and rapt amazement across the packed St Giles Church hall. It was the moment that Jacob Rees-Mogg MP (Honorary President, Ex-President, Trinity College), amid scenes of jubilation unrivalled since the Relief of Mafeking, swept into the room to make a surprise entrance, like some bespectacled Eurosceptic Eroll Flynn, at third week Port and Policy, in an appearance was totally unannounced until moments beforehand.

The Mogg in full flow.

After receiving the riotous applause of the P&P assembly that was by now somewhat the jollier for the use of the titular Iberian refreshment, Mr Rees-Mogg held the room in a silence presumably unprecedented in the association’s history, as he urged them in an emotive speech to seize back British sovereignty in the EU referendum on the 23rd June. Being ex-president, he was well versed in every dialectical tick of that august institution, and certain members were almost reduced to tears of joy at his mere mention of the Divine Right of Kings.  (This is not a satire piece)

The floor being opened for questions, Mr Rees-Mogg, clearly recognising the aforementioned Open Oxford contributor’s acute state of rapture, thought better than to delay answering hers, and must have caused no small distress in revealing that, no, he was not going to be Prime Minister any time soon, there being no vacancy. A thorough grilling that would have chastened a lesser man was tackled with poise and even-handedness, and so far was the Association’s attention held that there was no time to debate the emergency motion afterwards. The depth of members’ disappointment can only be imagined when Mr Rees-Mogg was unable to make a further appearance at the King’s Arms. The moans and groans of the OUCA members could scarce be contained.

It’s easy to see why Mr Rees-Mogg is elevated to such heroic status amongst the OUCA ranks; though the spectacles may have got thicker since his time in the Association, he resembles the unassuming, yet somehow charismatic and magisterial figure that so many OUCA hacks imagine themselves to present. At any rate, only a really excellent person could get away with frequent and unironic use of the phrase “good egg”.

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