It’s the list you and all your friends and family have been waiting for! We present to you the 10 most eligible bachelorettes in Oxford, according to a scientific formula that is far too complicated to explain. Here goes…

10. Ira Banerjee, Lincoln, Chemistry, 1st year


The only fresher to make this year’s cut, Ira has already gained herself a blue in badminton, as well as recently being elected to the Standing Committee of the Oxford Union in a hotly contested election. As the younger sister of former President Mayank Banerjee, Ira has student politics flowing through her veins, and has already proven her worth in the ‘Right to Strike’ debate last term. We strongly suspect that Ira will be making an appearance higher up our list next year.

9. Celine O’Donovan, LMH, Law, 2nd year


The new musical director of In The Pink A Cappella, Celine certainly knows a thing or two about mashups and medleys. If endless amounts of aca-politics aren’t your thing, Celine is co-President of the LMH LGBTQ society, and is most likely to be found in a pink bomber jacket on the pole of Plush. Just like a real life Betty Rizzo, except with fewer pregnancy scares. Celine also prides herself on having the sassiest walk in Oxford (we’ve seen – it’s true), so will shimmy and strut her way into any lucky lady’s life.

8. Charlotte Hyman, Christ Church, Fine Art, 2nd year


Vice-President of TedxOxford, this fine Fine Artist is sure to give you the inspirational speech of your life. Charlotte is also co-editor of fashion publication Industry, and has revamped the magazine to include sections on art, music and culture. Having spent a summer in Wyoming, Charlotte’s skill set also includes barrel racing and calf roping, so she knows exactly how to keep people where she wants them.

7. Georgina Candy, Exeter, Law, 2nd year


Georgina has worked her way up to become the new President of Lawsoc, after being Secretary earlier this year. When she’s not tackling the burdensome task of trying to make law students have fun, she has done a bit of modelling for Cherwell (we’ll let that slide), and also knows her way around a swimming pool. A triathlon of sorts. Her Facebook political views state ‘I will be the next Prime Minister’, which, if true, will not only make her the 26th Prime Minister from Oxford, but also the second most stylish PM after John Major.

6. Natalie Fairhurst, St Catz, Medicine, 2nd year


Our second a cappella supreme leader to make the list, this second year medic is currently co-President of The Oxford Alternotives. Natalie is also Entz rep for Medsoc, and can often be found outside Lola Los waging war on Jeremy Hunt. If her silky a cappella rendition of Skyfall isn’t going to save us from the junior doctors contract, we don’t know what will! Having once been arrested in the US for alcohol possession, Natalie knows a fair bit about law as well as medicine, meaning she’ll be an immediate hit with the in-laws.

5. Helena Khullar, Christ Church, Classics, 2nd year


Treasurer of Oxford Human Rights Society, Treasurer of Oxford Opera Society, former co-chair of Oxford Uni Sexism Project and many more, this Christ Church-er has a list of credentials longer than even her Classics exam timetable. She also co-founded luxury marshmallow company ‘La Maison Guimauve’, meaning she’s in a perfect position to shower you with gooey sweet treats. Dreamy! Helly is a rare vegan who is capable of keeping it quiet in conversation, which is perhaps her biggest achievement of all, and just one of the many reasons why she’s one of our most eligible bachelorettes.

4. Frances Varley, Somerville, History, 2nd year


Having recently become Librarian-Elect of the Oxford Union, we could give you #19IDEAS why Fran has made this year’s list. When she’s not debating Katie Hopkins on the efficacy of positive discrimination, Fran also spends her time making bop juice as Somerville Entz. There’s nothing quite like a double vodka pineapple to compliment some good old-fashioned black tie debating. Taking over the Somerville-Union reigns from Stuart Webber, we’re sure Fran will COORDINATE and FACILITATE her way into the very handsome shoes left to be filled.

3. Tash Fairweather, Pembroke, PPE, 2nd year


If you’re looking for a good time, not only is Tash the current Vice-President of Varsity Trip, she is also social secretary for the Oxford Sirens as well as Pembroke Entz. You would therefore be able to take your pick from a week in Val Thorens, a crew date in Arzoo, or a Monday night in Emporium. How we’d struggle! We also hear that Tash is a dab-hand at competitive drinking, meaning flips and tumbles may not be confined to Sirens training sessions.

2. Laura Venables, LMH, E&M, 2nd year


OUNC’s very own Angel of the North, Laura has goal-defended her way to become the new President of the netball club. This northern powerhouse has also been involved in both rowing and athletics during her first two years, so if you’re looking to be beaten at a sport of your choice, Laura’s your girl. Being from Cheshire, she also knows a thing or two about farming, and may even show her lucky suitor exactly what she can do with a shovel and a milking machine.

1. Georgia Bruce, Somerville, Classics, 3rd year


President of the Oxford Revue and one half of musical comedy duo ‘Cut the Mustard’ (alongside Jack Chisnall), it’s fair to say that Georgia has made her mark on the Oxford comedy scene – just as you’d expect from a classicist. She has also done her fair share of acting, having taken the lead in ETC’s ‘If Alice’, as well as starring in the last term’s ‘Spring Awakening’. Georgia has most certainly earned the prestigious accolade of topping VERSA’s list, and can be caught touring with the Oxford Revue this summer if you want to see this extraordinarily eligible bachelorette in action.

We can’t guarantee you’ll be able to find these girls on Tinder, however with a bit of luck, you may catch eyes with one of them across Bridge cheese floor – just how all the best relationships begin.


This article has 1 comment

  1. You are not wrong, Philip….

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