The other day, I was experiencing the woolly mammoth of essay crises. Call me bourgeois, wet or unimaginative (largely because I am) but in order to soften my now-woolly nerves, I resorted to Richard Curtis’ ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’ for respite.
Suddenly, mid-David-Cassidy-line, I had a moment of genius: contrary to popular belief, ‘Four Weddings’ is not a rom com, but in fact a sophisticated metaphor for 21st century essay crises!
I know. It’s a lot to take on. But in order to lessen the shock, I thought I might show you how…
1. Pre-drinks the night before. Knowledge of primary texts limited, criticism none, plan – in Narnia. Everything’s gonna be fine…
2. In order to make yourself feel better, you lie to a passing friend that you finished a week ago. You go to bed.
3. The next morning…
4. Fuckety fuckety fuck
5. Fuckadoodledoo – you realise that you’ve misinterpreted your own essay title
7. Pre-tute despair
8. Tute. You’re late, again
9. The bullshit begins
10. Continues… (Tute partner)
11. Dries up.
12. Nice tutor reaction:
13. Nasty tutor reaction:
14. Post fuck-up analysis with impossibly glamorous female accomplice