Remember that election you didn’t notice was going on? The results are as dull as the campaign…

After the manic hacking of Friday, the results of what is possibly the least exciting Union election ever are in. In a shocking election result which absolutely everyone saw coming all 4 of the unopposed Officer candidates have been elected, with Robert Harris as President-Elect, Nikolay Koshikov as Treasurer-Elect, ¬†Ssuna Golooba-Mutebi, Oxford’s steamiest man and most eligible bachelor the new Librarian-Elect and Henna Dattani as Secretary.

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Your new President-Elect, of course pending tribunal…

Lower down the greasy pole of the Union the results for standing and secccies were just as uninteresting. A couple of minor slates dared to challenge the Union Harris-tocracy and enjoyed minor success, but Standing Committee was dominated by those running on the presidential ticket; among the casualties of this election were Harrison Edmonds, the saviour of subfusc, who despite an impressive campaign, fell short by 50 votes to be the runner-up.

Turning to seccies, 11 wannabe BNOCs fought off their rivals to get a position on what could be the first step to eternal fame and glory…well a term spent sending hundreds of emails and pulling ridiculously long hours at the Union for no particular gain.

And the wheel of hackery keeps on turning, but pending tribunals, the Union’s electoral machine falls quiet for another term…

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This article has 9 comments

  1. Finn "90 seconds" Lees

    The election was almost as disappointing as my performance in bed!

  2. DID SOMEONE MENTION ELECTIONS????!!!

  3. Joseph Miles (Ex-Standing, Wadham College)

    Whilst it was a pleasure to take time off work from my actual job in the real world to come gimp at a second rate debate society’s elections, I thought this election was actually almost as interesting as the UK’s 20,000 page tax code.

  4. Are there any officers who want me and my enormous PV to run for Librarian on their slate? I can offer them a sixty nine which is what I give to all the women officers who I want a special relationship with.

  5. I hate Rob Harris.

    Don’t ask me why.

    Xoxoxo

  6. MERRY TRIBMAS

    VOX RO VOX DEI

    #fortherules #forthemembers

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