Without fail, every few weeks someone’s embarrassing teenage years will reappear on your News Feed. You giggle, and just pray to the Facebook Gods that you’re not next…
So VERSA decided to show you what your News Feed could look like had we (or rather, most of us) not outgrown the need to share every aspect of our oh-so-cool lives on Facebook. (Now we just do it on Twitter and Snapchat instead.)
1. “Look how extreme I am!”
Reminiscent of the good old days of secondary school, when you thought GCSEs were hard and required oh-so-much caffeine because you were #cool like that.
2. “Well why the fuck should I listen to some world-leading academics anyway? Don’t you understand I have about 50 shows waiting for me to binge-watch on Netflix? No one understands me.”
3. “I’m definitely too cool to give a shit about anything.”
Would rather be in Cellar
4. “Look at how many friends I have and how much fun I have. Jelly?”
5. “Yeah, I get drunk. *sassy emoji*”
6. *meanwhile a postgrad in the corner rolls their eyes*
7. “I’m mature and independent and just don’t have time for these petty little people.”
VERSA speculates this is how the Wadham left writes about us on Facebook. We’d know if they didn’t block us…
8. “There is never anything funnier than watching a teacher lose their shit and you have really messed about by not being there.”
I wonder what your tutors would think of this sort of behavior now?…
9. “Just in case you didn’t already catch that I like to get drunk, I like to get drunk. Specifically on VKs because I’m a #LAD”
10. “I just have a lot of feelings.”
11. “I get drunk and do wild shit. Or at least I watch other people do wild shit. That makes me cool by association, right?”
Wow babes, so #wild.
12. “I just ignore my responsibilities because I’m so above being tied down by such irrelevant things.”
All VERSA can say is thank the fucking Lord we’re not 15 any more.