A group of Oxford students from the Facebook group Open Oxford has won the eBay bidding war for a coffee cup – which has touched intimate parts of  Labour leadership contender, Jeremy Corbyn.

The idea was proposed by VERSA's own, Eleanor Sharman

TW: a screenshot

In a shock move of political bipartisanship and cooperation, a cross-party coalition of students raised £83 for this noble cause. This proved over-enthusiastic, as their winning bid came to £51 – all of which is to go the charity Age UK. The coalition of students beat down 22 other bids which also sought the cup, but evidently were not as committed to the cause.

ebay coffe cup

Almost as important as that time people bid for Britney’s used chewing gum…

The seller of the item promised to try and get the cup signed by the Red Menace Corbyn himself if bidding exceeded £50. VERSA is informed that this process is now underway. The cup is now to be sent Royal Mail postage for 99p to one member of the group. VERSA speculates as to how this ‘heirloom’ will be preserved, and who will actually keep the cup – as shared ownership is probably too socialist for most of the contributors.

Eleanor Sharman, co-ordinator and final purchaser of the cup, gave VERSA the following statement on behalf of participants: “We wanted to show Mr. Corbyn that free-market cupitalism can help the disadvantaged in many ways. We, too believe this country is on the cups of revolution, and – despite our liberal leanings – cupitulate to his analyses. We’re so proud to have cuptured this vessel. Of course, we intend to treat it with the respect it deserves: after all, it encupsulates the spirit of Corbynmania. Beloved Jeremy: oh cuptain, our cuptain.”

In the meantime, suggestions have been made by some members of the group concerning future use of the brown polystyrene cup which has touched the lips of the controversial Corbyn. Some argue for it be taken to OUCA’s infamous 8th-week Port and Policy social.

Discussions continue about crowdsourcing other polystyrene coffee cups used by politicians.

another cup

Watch out, Liz

VERSA applauds this show of charity and cooperation from Oxford students, and hopes it will prove a model for future cross-party political collaboration.

This article has 13 comments

  1. Sounds like a Zionist cupspiracy to me.

  2. Whoever bought this must be almost as much of a mug as his supporters.

  3. OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  4. £51 for a cup? What a disgrace. I’d pay £14.88 at the very most.

  5. OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    Sound.

  6. OUUUUUUUUUUUUCAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    And did those feet in ancient time
    Walk upon England’s mountains green?
    And was the holy Lamb of God
    On England’s pleasant pastures seen?
    And did the countenance divine
    Shine forth upon our clouded hills?
    And was Jerusalem builded here
    Among those dark satanic mills?

    Bring me my bow of burning gold!
    Bring me my arrows of desire!
    Bring me my spear: o clouds unfold!
    Bring me my chariots of fire!
    I will not cease from mental fight;
    Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
    Till we have built Jerusalem
    In England’s green and pleasant land.

  7. OUUUUUUUUUUUUCAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    I vow to thee, my country, all earthly things above,
    Entire and whole and perfect, the service of my love;
    The love that asks no question, the love that stands the test,
    That lays upon the altar the dearest and the best;
    The love that never falters, the love that pays the price,
    The love that makes undaunted the final sacrifice.
    I heard my country calling, away across the sea,
    Across the waves and waters, she calls and calls to me.
    Her sword is girded at her side, her helmet on her head,[6]
    And around her feet are lying the dying and the dead;
    I hear the noise of battle, the thunder of her guns;
    I haste to thee, my mother, a son among thy sons.
    And there’s another country, I’ve heard of long ago,
    Most dear to them that love her, most great to them that know;
    We may not count her armies, we may not see her King;
    Her fortress is a faithful heart, her pride is suffering;
    And soul by soul and silently her shining bounds increase,
    And her ways are ways of gentleness, and all her paths are peace.

  8. My Zionist paymasters are pleased with this article!

  9. Big Brother is watching you.

  10. OUUUUUUUUUUUUCAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    and did those lips in the 8th week
    drink from the Corbyn’s once used cup?
    And was the divinely righted queen
    Toasted with port which they did sup?
    And did the neo liberal elite
    Look gladly down upon this sight?
    And was his statist plot verily mocked
    Among the oxford student right?

    Bring me my once afore used cup
    Bring me bottle filled with port
    Listen the shouts of “sound” erupt
    While Corbyn’s cup’s defiled
    I will not find a better use
    For fifty one sound british pounds
    Than frittering it on grape juice
    Served from my cupitalism

  11. Pingback: I paid £51 for Jeremy Corbyn’s coffee cup – and plan to drink champagne from … | Oxford Observer

  12. Jesus H Christ Eleanor Sharman, is that the best you’ve got to offer?

  13. Pingback: I paid £51 for Jeremy Corbyn’s coffee cup

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