Zuleyka Shahin and Stuart Webber will go head to head for President of the Oxford Union. 

A contested election for Union President is on the cards. Friends of both have confirmed their intentions to HackWatch.

Who will you choose?

Shahin is the current Treasurer, so has control of the Union finances this term. She flew past all her competitors to come top of the election to Standing Committee last term, in only her first election.

 

I'd like to introduce you to…

A photo posted by Annie Teriba (@annie_etc) on

Shahin shaking up the Treasurer’s office…

 

Webber is the current Librarian, so has been in charge of organising this term’s speakers along with the President. He’s a veteran of Union elections, and was formerly the Union Secretary.

The secretary with the cheeky smile

What will happen when our pick for Oxford’s coolest student faces our 6th most eligible bachelorThey say that when you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. Let’s hope our candidates remember that only happens in fantasy…

 

This article has 66 comments

  1. #Bringbackmehru #Sajjad4Pres

  2. The Webbers shall send their regards

  3. The Hon James Hugh Coddrington

    Keep that beastly woman Teriba away from the Union. What a shame that Miss Shahin has anything to with her.

  4. *Snakey Snakey Snakey Snakey Snake*

    Why can’t I have an uncontesssssssted election? Charlie promisssssssed meeee

    *Snakey Snakey Snakey Snakey Snake*

  5. mate I’m the real story of this election

    Why is no one paying attention to me

  6. There are many houses in WesterOx and these are their words:

    House Merrett – Hers is the Fury
    House Webber – The Members, Duty, Honour
    House Shahin – We do not Bow
    House Browne – Joe Miles is a Traitorrrr!

  7. I wonder if Stuart is regretting turning down president when he had the opportunity.

  8. I hate Zuleyka.

    Don’t ask me why.

    kkthx

    XOXOXO

  9. All the webs we weave…

  10. Why has Versa once again omitted the role of the TRAITOR joe miles?!

  11. Thanks for giving versa this story Olivia!

  12. Hey guys, remember this time last year when I ran President?

  13. Everything is proceeding exactly as planned.

  14. WONGA
    O
    N
    G
    A

  15. Ah yes, my friends Charlie and Lisa did say it would go this way…

  16. Tom 'King' Carter

    How about we settle this over a curry night?

  17. Elections are coming.

  18. Well this is sure to be an exciting election! Remember that election day is right after Oxford’s hottest night, BRIDGE! Be sure to be there for all the pre-election day gossip – my 400 reps are spread all throughout the university and have tickets, all you have to do is shout “The Guild!” and one will be sure to find you to help out. Alternatively, let me know if you want tickets or tables at Warehouse, the club I own in Oxford. Obviously I’ll be at BRIDGE with my standard TABLE #opulence, so if you want to join me in #VIP then just whisper my name on the door – all the bouncers know who I am so they’ll get you in. With all the free drinks I’ve been getting since first year it is sure to be BIG night!! #GoGuildOrGoHome #WhenWePartyWePartyHard

  19. Lol cant I ban zuleykha because im pres elect? I hate trans people

  20. For all of Zuleyka’s chat about “change” and being “progressive” her campaign so far seems to consist almost entirely in trying to spread stupid lies about Stuart. At least Stu is competent. How much did Zuleyka raise as treasurer again?

    • “Stu” is also a terrible human beings and has new born babies for breakfast everyday. How does competence justify cannibalism? #CALLBARNABYRAINENOW

      • Narrarive Sponge

        I heard you make the baby cry into a glass as you kill it and drink that with the body, Stu; it’s just as believable as everything else about you so it must all be true! #wakeupsheeple

  21. If only we had a candidate who is as honest and upfront about his intentions as this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fe57CBWQCXQ

    • Lord Hardtrasher

      As we all know, you especially, you don’t have to be honest, upfront or in any way competent to become Union president.

  22. Really hope I don’t lose this election like I did last Trinity when I ran with Crawfy. But then I shat all over my friendship with him and joined Lisa while all my other friends (lol yes, that greek turd) were resigning because I’m a cunt like that. #AllAboutTheThrone4Me #SssssoClosssseNowww #SoooMuchPowerrr #VerssssaPleassssseDon’tCccccenssssorThissss

  23. POO ON STU

  24. THE OXFORD GUILD

    The Oxford Guild formerly endorses Stuart Webber and would like to encourage all voters to speak to ABBAS KAZMI – even though he hasn’t graduated a three year course (five years now and still counting…) I’ve heard he is actually not that stupid and can discuss the merits and demerits of candidates remarkably well.

  25. Crawford H Jamieson III

    Stuart is no longer welcome to my hired statistician, havingn totally binned me after my historic loss by 254 votes.

    Everyone is still welcome at my bow tie making class though obviously.

    • Crawford's hired statistician

      Crawford I told you I don’t accept payment in cheap cava – you still owe me money. My statistics were good, stop blaming them for your loss. Any idiot could tell you 75 year old election statistics were never going to help. Though knowing the full history of the old library presumably did win a few hundred votes.

  26. Mayank 'Free Free Palestine' Banerjee

    Guys can’t we stop with all this? There are so many bigger problems in the world. And so many profile pictures to be taken of me solving them.

  27. Mate, give a shit about the Presidency, I just won by accident and just got hooned with mates, shrugged, locked in the self deprecation and shrugged some more

  28. Carolina Fiona Bax

    I pop up EVERYWHERE. It doesn’t matter that I’m not actually holding any kind of relevant position in any society, nor that I am not particularly interesting, you just need to have heard of me or seen me somewhere. Did you know I am best friends with Romain?!

    P.S. I am not the editor of OxStu no matter what my Linkedin says

  29. I’VE GOT THE POWER HAVEN’T I GUYS TELL ME I’M BIG AND POWERFUL

  30. Stuart Webber you filthy traitor – you ran as Librarian on my fucking slate and then conspired BEHIND MY BACK and got me sacked from the Presidency? Good job, you fucking mongrel, now you’re stuck with Olivia Merrett and Zuleykha. Who’s having fun now, you ugly skinny bitch?

  31. Hmm this look like it’s going to be an interesting election. On the one hand Stuart is a member of the Union establishment and on the other Zulekyha is a radical. In any case this should prove a very interesting election.

  32. YES! Now if Zuleyka doesn’t win I can say the election was rigged – this is my perfect chance to have another protest against the Union!

    Also, if anyone with CCJs and bad credit needs a loan I hear that Wonga.com is pretty good.

  33. TW: sickening self-obsessed bullshit from me as always; comment written in English.

    As a half-Asian feminist, obviously I am behind Zuleyka’s run for President. It it important that we elect a radical lefist to the Union (I pretend to be one now because everyone else binned me; Cf: 8th Week P&P HT15).

    As I’ve always said, I hate the Union, which is why I spent so much time getting involved in its elections and trying to force my way into almost every President’s Drinks for most of my time here. As a JOURNALIST, not because I just wanted to be involved. Which is obviously the same reason I tried and failed to become RO – as some sort of anti-Union stand against “the establishment”. Not because I actually typify the establishment by being really right wing (before I was chucked out of my racist drinking society, the Viceroys, and then OUCA, where I was an officer) as well as boasting about my public school and how much time I spend in London gentleman’s clubs.

  34. It’s no coincidence that my paper was called the Ox “Stu”

  35. Heresy. The Union Presidency should be abolished and the institution placed under the control of Her Majesty the Queen. #divinerightofkings

  36. David Browne (Future President On Tour)

    When I win Standing with 200 votes, Rob’s sure to make me his Librarian candidate!

  37. ZuleykahahaMwahaha

    Bringing you anti-establishment realness
    #MyWholeSlateIsPublicSchool #MyWholeStateIsOUCA #WhyWontAnnieSpeakToMeAnymore?

    Manifesto: I will bring change. I have a lot of experience changing my profile picture so I can change the Union too.

  38. I want to fight against old-style Union backstabbing politics – that’s why I pretended to support Stuart for 10 weeks and then stabbed him in the back. Bringing you #IronyRealness

  39. As evidenced by these comments, we’re INCREDIBLY triggered by contested elections.

  40. She doesn't even go here

    I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be POISONED AND DIE SO THAT I CAN FINALLY TAKE THE THRONE

    • Lord Hardtrasher

      Nice try David, but I think people would be alerted by the number of stray hairs in it.

      • How dare you suggest that was me? Do I look like an amateur?!

        Everyone knows you can’t kill a hack using poison, does this person know anything about the union?

        In any case I’ve tried that one already.
        I snuck a few drops of my hair grease into Olivia’s tea every morning of the vac days, as soon as I heard Roberto was gone, but all that happened is that the toxicity burned my hands and I was forced to wear those damned white gloves for an entire week.
        I hoped to work my way through standing until the presidency would finally fall unto me..

        Also – saliva, tears, urine and blood do not work either.
        I’m currently experimenting with one other bodily fluid, but acquiring it requires a little helping hand from the team of seccies who I lure into doing my dirty work.

        To kill a snake you must behead it!

  41. JOE MILES IS A TRAITOR!!!!!!

  42. I was wrong.

    ZUSNEYKA SHAHIN IS A TRAITOR!!!!

    She promised me Librarian on her slate.

  43. David's Guardian Angel

    David. For terms I have hovered above you, fluttering my angel wings and striking down the snakes in the union who obstruct your path. Resignations, scandals, missed meetings – that was all me. I have helped you remain on standing committee when all hope looked lost. I have even helped you find seccies depite your track record.
    I have done this all because I believe in you Dave. You deserve that throne. I see your beady glare each time you enter the chamber – you want it too. BUT it is time to stop blaming others. Time to stop calling people traitors. You are a single independent cis white het (?) hack who don’t need anybody else. You must run independently for officership! The time is now! Ruuuuuuun DB ruuuuuuuuun. I will line for you from the heavens and spread anti narrative about your enemies. I vow to you that you will make it onto versa’s BNOCs list, be the most famous David in the country and maybe even have Olivia in her office.
    Don’t sit by and watch freshers be promoted above you.
    #DB in white tie
    #backthebid

  44. The unheard voices

    David Browne, rise up and be the champion that Oxford needs you to be.

    For too long has the union been plagued with deceit, lies, snakes and of course traitors.

    The time is now to run for president. You have your silent majority, you have your friends waiting to rally behind you. Spring forward like the neck of a viper waiting in the shadows and proclaim your claim to the greatest claim in the union.

    We are the many and we support you.

    Rise up David Browne and claim your destiny!

  45. Its great to have an elected union president again. unlike Olivia Merrett, one of the few unelected presidents, taking a dead man’s place

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