Oxford. The home of intelligence. And some cool cunts that have fun while they run this town. Here are Oxford’s cream of the crop, the Beyonces of the Destiny’s Childs, the Kims of the Kardashians. 


The Student selfie


1) Zuleyka Shahin




She’s got the bank accounts of the Union, she turned her office pink, and she’s bloody nice. Say no more and bow down.


2) Annie Teriba



Running more clubnights per week than most people go to in a term. Supermarket, Surfboard, oh and representing Oxford to the NUS, campaigning on social justice issues, and debating at the Union. What do you do in your free time again?


3) Alfred Burton


Alfred Burton


Ex-Queen’s JCR President, catch him organising events for the Oxford Burma Alliance and jamming with Aung San Suu Kyi while he should be revising for finals. Or serving drinks with a smile in Queen’s bar. Nice is cool.


4) Toby Baker


Toby Baker


Ok he’s not officially a student but he still drinks like one. He runs lots of clubnights and knows lots of people and you’ll just see him wandering around Oxford looking like a cool teddy bear. Which somehow Mr Shuffle himself can pull off.


5) Siwan Clark



This 3rd-year PPEist at John’s makes us question whether anyone who doesn’t have 200,000 Youtube views on their feminist song deserves to be on the list. Effortlessly cool, and a voice to melt Katie Hopkins’ icy heart.


6) Louis Trup


Louis Trup OUSU teaching awards


He has garms on garms on garms and he DJs while upholding our democracy. You’ve just got to love LJTrup. (Yes he is also not a student)


7) Maryam Ahmed


Maryam A


You don’t get to the top of a political society without making some enemies. Unless you’re Maryam and you’re just the most likeable person that’s ever existed. And she’s going to be mates with Sol Campbell after he’s spoken at OUCA this term.


8) Jeremy Ogunleye



This guy defies the stereotypes because, although he studies English at Merton, he’s not boring. One of the founders of grime night, Functions on the Low, Jez has played football for Oxford and generally made VERSA feel inadequate.


9) Will Hislop



Funny is cool. His videos speak for themselves. He’s been in The Buttless Chaps, The Oxford Revue, and all the student drama. To be fair there are a lot of funny kids around (we almost went for Georgia Bruce) but this guy cracks VERSA up.


10) Benedict Jackson


Benedict Kay



DJ, Producer, Classics student. VERSA wants to lick his face.



But then again, who needs our narrow conception of cool. You, reader, are also wicked. 


This article has 8 comments

  1. Thank god Joe Miles didn’t make it on here – he’s a TRAAAAAAITOR!

    • Joseph Christopher Miles (ex-Standing, Collegio Wadhamensi)

      It took you almost as long to make this post as it’ll take you to win a contested Standing election, David.

  2. ????????????????????????????

  3. Thomas G Reynolds

    Why am I not a BNOC yet? I was RO of the Union AND even ERO!

  4. Guys notice how I’m not listed, because I’ve moved on and have a job now. That being said, I’ll be holding a CV clinic at my TABLE in BRIDGE every Thursday this term. #decadent

  5. The Hon. James Hugh Birdringham-Poole

    What is this NICE Versa praising people? I thought we could expect “hashtag good chat” from Versa? Instead you tell us that anyone likes Teriba and that Maryam has no enemies?! What a lot of tosh.

    Bring on the most hated list, it’s what you’re better at.


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  7. Pingback: VERSA | Scrutiny report: all the drama, deception and juicy detail of BOTH Union slates

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