Jazz-hands replaced applause at this years NUS Women’s Conference – at the behest of Oxford’s WomCam. The internet has taken this about as seriously as you’d expect. Clap, clap, clap…

Yeah, you read that right. Oxford’s very own WomCam requested that attendees at the NUS Women’s Conference refrain from applauding speakers and their points, and instead perform ‘feminist jazz hands‘ to show approval. Clapping was “triggering” for some attendees, said WomCam.

 

An eminently reasonable and normal request. But, as is the way of the Web, the most innocuous of posts can pry open the lid of very large, very “problematic” cans of worms…

 

The following was swiftly posted to Oxford’s moral philosophy group, ‘Cuntry Living‘:

Screen Shot 2015-03-24 at 21.39.13

Much serious, respectful debate ensued.

Some less serious debate also ensued.

 

But shhh, let’s not mention the problems with the shiny new idea.

jazzhands

This? Disgusting

 

Oxford was not, however, left defenceless. James Blythe, OUSU’s Vice-President for Access and Academic Affairs, promptly strode into the fray:

 

We think he might have regretted this choice.

 

And the NUS attempted damage control:

 

…which went about as well as you’d expect. The link in that tweet?

Screen Shot 2015-03-25 at 02.42.47

 

In the spirit of community and solidarity, VERSA has come up with some ideas for non-triggering, non-culturally-appropriative substitutes for applause. These include rapid eye-rolling, aggressive blinking, and audience members gently twitching their ears.

In total, not a completely optimal day for our dear Union. Oh, and by the way, this also happened.

Typical gays, “stealing culture”…

The motion resolves to – wait for it – “raise awareness“. Gosh, the gaytriarchy are going to be in fits.

The NUS Women’s Conference has only been going on for a day. But VERSA thinks they’ve earned a very long, very slow clap. 

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This article has 13 comments

  1. Who is James Blythe? This is my territory. Fuckbadger

  2. Wonga.com

  3. I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding. Jazz hands are problematic, you should allow for people with rotary blades.

  4. Who gives a shit about the NUS anyway?

  5. Barnaby Raine

  6. hahhahahhhaahahhahahahaaa

  7. We fully support our VP Academic Affairs in articulating the Oxford student position on #nuswomen. Remember: we own the thoughts in your brain, air in your lungs and tongues in your mouths. Resistance is futile.

  8. I am waiting with anticipation for the NUS to release their definitive commentary on Aristophanes’ play “The Birds”. They probably have a lot to say on it, since they spend so much of their time in cloud cuckoo land.

  9. I have just the right gloves for this!

  10. Pingback: VERSA | We need student unions, but it's time to bin the NUS

  11. Pingback: Kurdish Peshmerga pass motion of solidarity with the NUS VERSA

  12. Pingback: VERSA | OUSU scrutiny report: the state of all the slates

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