Who run the world?

Oxford isn’t always the most helpful place to be when you’re looking for love – essays, tutes and inevitable stresses and strains get in the way, and your romantic life can often suffer as a result. But you need worry no longer: Versa has taken the Tinder-trawling out of dating and curated a list of Oxford’s top ten most eligible bachelorettes. These people have it all: they’re talented hard workers who are making the most of their time at Oxford, and they’re all pretty stunning as well.

But as with our equivalent list for the less fair sex two weeks ago, we don’t know everything: we can’t promise that everyone on our list is a single pringle who is ready to mingle, and news of how they each identify has not reached Versa’s ears. With that in mind, here they are…

 

Louise Revell

10. Louise Revell

This brown-haired beauty easily beat off the competition to establish herself as top dog of Christ Church JCR last term, and has never looked back since. She’s also multi-talented: before she climbed the greasy pole of Christ Church student politics she was an eminent student journalist, curating obscure poetry and short stories for The OxStu in Trinity. If you fancy yourself as the consort of Christ Church, then, Louise might well be your gal.

 

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9. Rosie Thomas

Deputy big dog of Brasenose JCR, this popular PPEist has her fingers in many pies. She’s a prolific netballer and was on the university-wide squad last year, an OULC old-timer and even (shock horror) had a spell on Seccies at the Union back in 2013. Her fifteen minutes of national television fame came when she captained the Brasenose team on University Challenge, although they embarrassingly got slammed by the Oxford rejects (read: Durham) in the first round. She still has a photo of herself with Jeremy Paxman to put on her mantelpiece, though. Big.

 

Erika Pheby

8. Erika Pheby

Erika is the kind of JCR President everyone wants to be friends with. She definitely lives life in the fast lane: the start of Michaelmas saw the great leader of Corpuscles being kind enough to show the freshers how to have fun on a trip to Park End. You could say she gave the JCR welfare team their first test on how to deal with someone who had hit an Oxford club a little too hard. Bravo. To add another string to her bow, Erika has also headed up the University’s Psychology Society. Hailing from Hong Kong, this Philosophy and Psychology girl is far more than just a pretty face.

 

Lamorna Ash

7. Lamorna Ash

An edgy thespian from Christ Church, Lamorna has exploded onto Oxford’s drama scene in the last year or so. She has taken starring roles in high-profile student productions, and gave a particularly characterful performance as a deranged mother in Devised Play One: Fear last Trinity. With her array of chic, ultrahip Facebook profile pictures befitting her status as the queen of edge, Lamorna is definitely up there amongst the coolest on campus.

 

Lisa Wehden

6. Lisa Wehden

Lisa Wehden is one phenomenal woman. After winning election to Secretary and taking over as Treasurer during the turbulence at the Union in Trinity, she made winning the presidency at the end of last term look effortless – and pulled it all off with a beautiful smile to boot. What you might not know is that Lisa is also a good ol’ Northern lass, hailing from Hebden Bridge in Yorkshire. Whether she likes gravy on her fish and chips is another matter, but she sure would make a great catch.

 

Poppy Stokes

5. Poppy Stokes

Poppy is part of the rare species of Wadhamite Tories, having held the coveted position of Political Officer in OUCA this term, and now elected as Treasurer. She has made her name keeping order at OUCA’s somewhat raucous weekly events this term. This girl is ballsy: at a recent Port and Policy she succeeded in breaking a table after it banging it so hard with an empty port bottle. Famous both for losing a City Council election last term and also for playing club-level beach volleyball in a city with no beaches, Poppy is a fiery Northern character, and certainly someone worth getting to know.

 

Polly Fullerton

4. Polly Fullerton

There’s only a few heights left for this striking Somervillian to conquer. Not only is she a model with a number of Oxford Fashion Weeks under her belt, she is also a prolific artist and one of Oxford’s leading sportspeople. Polly not only plays netball for the Uni, but she is also a Half Blue in the (somewhat niche) sport of high jump. We don’t understand how she does it either. With a number of poetry prizes to her name as well, she’s clearly a high flier as well as a high jumper. Play your cards right and maybe she’ll write you a love poem this Christmas…

 

Becky Howe

3. Becky Howe

At number three is our incoming Glorious Leader. Howe could anyone resist this blonde BNOC bombshell from Pembroke? Well loved as JCR Prez at Pembroke last year, she counts rent freezes for students among her many achievements. It’s difficult to find someone who doesn’t like this bubbly historian, so it’s unsurprising she clocked up well over 1,000 votes in the OUSU Presidential elections.

 

Jodie Spencer

2. Jodie Spencer

One of three RAG Vice Presidents this year, this charitable chick is often to be found dancing the night away in Park End on Wednesday nights. She stuck two fingers up at the gender binary recently by donning a fake moustache last month as part of the Movember campaign, and she’s been likened in looks to a younger version of Britney Spears. If you’re into charity, fun and fake facial hair, though, then the only way is Jodie.

 

NP Dinh

1. NamPhuong Dinh

NP is probably the only woman on this list with a charitable bridge-building foundation all of her own, though we’ve been informed that said charity has managed to build precisely zero bridges to date. They have thrown a lot of parties though. But here in Oxford this Vietnamese vision has built different bridges: Union hack extraordinaire, she showed off her extensive circle of friends with a super-well-attended 21st birthday bash recently. Aside from her sparkling personality, there’d be a second fantastic perk to going out with NP: a holiday of a lifetime to South East Asia next summer would be in the bag. What’s not to love?

This article has 6 comments

  1. Where are all the men?

  2. Why are Alice Nutting and Annie Teriba not on here??!

  3. every man or woman ever

    because, er, who would want to be married to either of them? #justsayin

  4. Where are all the Australians?

  5. how dare you

  6. Sounds about right

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