Oxford's most eligible...

Oxford’s most eligible…

Looking for love? Fed up of Facebook stalking and tired of Tinder? We suss out the talent for you

However many dire drinks events and sticky club floors you trawl looking for The One, Oxford can feel like a lonely place. We eliminate the pain and toil for you by cutting through the crap to the men you should really be looking for. Diamonds among coal, these guys span the genres. Since we’re not stalkers, we can’t guarantee if they’re single, or which team they bat for. You’ll just have to do some of your own research if any catch your eye. Sorry guys.

 

Looking suave in black tie

Looking suave in black tie

10. Luke Mintz

This husky-voiced northerner has charmed many a man (and disappointed woman) alike. Longtime crack news reporter and fixture of LGBTQsoc drinks events, Luke has penned countless big scoops for the OxStu as well as soothing any social gathering with his dulcet Liverpudlian tones. Under the radar, but one to watch.

 

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He even looks sexy when he’s singing

9. Jack Remmington

A leading figure in Oxford favourites Out of The Blue, this Lincolnshire man is so authentic that he takes chips with his chinese, as we found out once on a crew date. Truly fabulous in every way, he can be seen leading the charge on this Hips Don’t Lie/Waka Waka mashup, praised by Shakira herself and raising over £9000 for Helen and Douglas House. As close to an international superstar as you’ll get.

 

 

Library date with this boy anytime

8. Romain Reglade 

Longtime fixture of the OxStu offices’ Wall of Lust™, Romain has been the apple of many an eye. With that floppy-haired charm and French mystique, many can only dream of actually meeting this elusive chap in the flesh. An artiste with his camera, he’s responsible for most beautiful photos you see in the student media. Are you his next muse?

 

 

Yep, what a wanker.

7. Arthur Graham-Dixon 

Consummate wine wanker and next after this guy in the illustrious Graham-Dixon dynasty of Oggsford men, Arthur is truly a man for the most sophisticated of tastes. If you want a date who’ll both impress and intimidate, Arthur can cow your innocent friends with his superior knowledge of art history, dislike of KanYe West and disdain for any champagne short of Dom. You have been warned.

 

 

He can take notes too!

He can take notes, too!

6. Stuart Webber

We hear reports from Somerville that Stuart has a constant stream of ladies entering and leaving his room, though we believe this is not for sexual purposes but something rather more sordid… In any case  “Snakey” Webber has burst onto the scene in the last couple of terms as a fresh face to the rather worn stereotype of Union hack. A late in the day promotion to Secretary has seen Stuart’s star rise, and though he’s not strictly single we thought it would be rude to leave him out, for those who want a shot at the title of First Lady of the Oxford Union.

 

 

He can cook, too

Cooking ability included

5. Adam Kashani 

Thrice the face of Clements & Church during OFW, we’ve all gazed upon this man’s chiselled form – so chiselled, in fact, that he felt the need to prove this to an unsuspecting SJCBC with an attempt to grate camembert on his (steely?) abs at High Table. Despite these laddish antics, however, Adam’s all soft inside, famously describing in his UCAS personal statement his ambition to be a cloud. If all else fails, he’d be a good party date due to his neon-bright chinos, which make him easy to spot in a crowd.

 

 

"To be or not to be" ft. Park End

“To be or not to be” ft. Park End

4. Ben Goldstein

Need we say more? Journo hack, thesp, Oxide DJ and BJOC extraordinaire – we don’t know how this man has enough hours in the day. Fingers in all the pies (ey ey) and an outrageous flirt (just ask the Lincoln hall staff), he’s still got time to make eyes at some ladies with his roguish manner and charming chat. Once described by a close friend as ‘a rake’, Goldstein has possibly more energy than a nuclear reactor. Hop on if you think you can handle it.

 

 

So friendly

So friendly

3. Leo Gebbie 

Loving shepherd to his flock as Jesus JCR Pres, many have described this man as a Christ-like figure. Sparing the freshers the scourge of JCR emails by leaving them off the list till 3rd week, as well as doing the nation the service of entering himself on Eggheads, Leo is truly a selfless chap. Messiah comparisons aside, the rest we know about Leo is that he’s a lovely bloke and ‘plays some sort of instrument’. Reports are that his musical abilities wowed at 4th week Pres Com karaoke night. Who doesn’t like a man with talent?

 

 

He's adapting to Oxford life

He’s adapting well to Oxford life

2. Nick D’Alosio 

Worth $30million at the tender age of 18, thanks to an app he invented and sold to internet giant Yahoo, this man will not find it difficult to charm the ladies. Even better, he can get a computer to summarise your essay reading for you. Perfect! All the more time for *more interesting activities* in this relationship. Let’s hope his wooing skills are not those of the typical computer scientist.

 

 

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Phwoar.

1. Femi Nylander

Seasoned Oxford thesp Femi has graced Oxford’s drama glitterati since arriving last year, taking on a variety of starring roles – Othello in ChCh Garden Play and Antonio in OUDS’ Japan tour production of Twelfth Night. Also frontman of Oxford ball fixture band Millie is a Boy, Femi has eye-wateringly many strings to his bow. Opportunities to ogle him on Oxford stages are plentiful, with reports that he’s now doing the rounds of the performance poetry circuit, as well as taking on the lead role in this week’s production of Assassins at the Keble O’Reilly. Oxford’s George Clooney? There’s only one way to find out.

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This article has 16 comments

  1. Can’t believe you put Stuart Webber and not me :'( :'( :'(

  2. Leave it, yeah…

  3. I’m quite good looking and think i deserve to be on this list. Im really good at English and got 74 on a recent essay. I also regularly wash and floss twice a day.

  4. this seems a fair enough list, all these people seem nice-looking and interesting

    if anyone was looking for a more middle-of-the-road nice guy, however, feel free to drop me a line on 07788250980 x

  5. Sorry ladies, I’m a taken man – the 19 mirrors in my room give me everything I need.

  6. ladies – please come prepared – it’s too humiliating to supply myself http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex/condoms/small-condoms/?gclid=CI6cg5zzhMICFdLItAodbnsAog

  7. Seriously Roman Renegade? His photos are substandard at best. Moody and gallic doesn’t mean hot and eligible.

    Kashani is much hotter, and much nicer.

  8. Article just proves that Oxford has girls and boys with big teeth and plums up their arses.

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